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Thursday, March 5, 2015

The Madness of English

Let's face it. English is a crazy language. For one, it comes with the most complicated grammar rules. Then, there's pronunciation vs. spelling. It's like an endless sibling rivalry between identical twins. 
How come quicksand works pretty slow and boxing rings are actually square? Writers write and singers sing. Therefore, fingers fing?
Callers call but grocers don't groce and hammers will never ham. Mallet is pronounced as ma-lit and billet is pronounced as bi-lit but fillet is pronounced as fi-lei.

 teachers taught, why couldn't a preacher praught? What do humanitarians eat if vegetarians eat vegetables?

In what language do people recite at a play and play at a recital? Slim chance and fat chance can mean exactly the same while wise man and wise guy are total opposites. Overlook and oversee are opposite but quite a lot and quite a few are identical.

It is one tooth and two teeth. Thus the plural of booth is beeth! There is a goose and there are geese. I have one moose and she has three meese! We choose the red blouse. Gina cheese three blouses! If the past tense of ring is rang and its past participle is rung then, the past tense of bring is brang and its past participle is brung?

Guinea pigs are neither from Guinea nor they are pigs. English muffins aren't from England and French fries are not made in France.

It is only in English where there are noses that run and feet that smell. Where we can park in drive ways and drive in park ways.

Language is one of the greatest inventions ever made. English, being for one, therefore, is one of the excellent creations of the human race (which happens to be not a race at all). It may be crazy but it has shown our creativity and gave us the chance to understand and be understood.

That is why when the stars are out, they are visible. But when the lights are out, they are invisible. And when I wind up my watch, I start it and when I wind up this essay I end it.